It was easier on us. We took that choice away from them, because it's what we wanted to do, shishu. It doesn't make us right. It doesn't mean we regret it, either.
( Saying he does or doesn't agree, it's not that easy. Just as the decision to act was easier than seeking the permission, the convincing, the arguments for what they felt was better, inevitable, for the best. )
... He was. I ensured he drank one of what you just had, too. As for the rest... thank you.
( For making the offer. For... something he hears very little of, in his life, when it comes to the breakdown and failings of the relationships he holds so dear. )
[It isn't something he thinks about very much, having taken the choice away from Song Lan, but...it's not untrue. Wei Wuxian also isn't wrong when he says they don't necessarily regret their actions. Xiao Xingchen would do it again in a heartbeat if he had to, even knowing the pain he'd suffer, both physically and otherwise.]
But we can't take it back, even if we wanted to.
[Time only moves forward and once decisions like this are made, they can only go along with that flow and face whatever is thrown back at them. But Xingchen nods in acknowledgment of everything, glad that Jiang Cheng is also on his way to recovery so Wei Wuxian is one step closer to clearing up the truth. He doesn't envy the man for that situation, but if it's necessary...
Gently, Xingchen raises his hand from Wei Wuxian's shoulder, finding his cheek. Maybe this is foolish, maybe he's still trusting people when he shouldn't, even after all the hurt he's been through because of it. His voice is soft when he speaks, genuine.]
You're my shizhi.
[He pulls his hand away, finally freeing Wei Wuxian from his physical presence, though he falls silent at the offer for company. Really, he wants to be alone, to sort out his roiling emotions after all these revelations. And he's tired, even this much activity - though he only got out of bed to meet Wei Wuxian like this - has left him feeling more fatigued than he has in years. It would be nice if the treatment fought off this poison by the end of the night, but he knows, realistically, it will probably take longer. He needs to rest so that when he does regain his strength, he'll be able to function almost as if things were back to normal.
And yet. He has someone right here who really seems to care about his wellbeing, someone whom he's just claimed as family, at his knees. He needs to rest, yes, but doesn't he also need to not seclude himself so much because of his emotional turmoil? Everything is a contradiction. He wants everything and nothing. But in the end, he makes up his mind.]
( it strikes, in a way he didn't expect, to be claimed as relation. different from sizhui calling to him as someone familiar, when his memories returned; that had been a deep strike, to the heart of him in a way he had no way to prepare for. a return of something lost. an impossible truth that had been more gladdening than near every single thing he'd learned since coming back to a world that hated him no less than when he'd died.
this, however, still strikes; still draws blood. he breathes in, sharp, and it's the only response he has. enough perhaps for xiao xingchen, who is as much an orphan with found martial family as he had been, adopted in by a clan that had been slaughtered by those who believed power meant to hold sway over all. cruelty for the sake of reigning high.
but it is worse, in ways, to have a hand at his cheek. because that too is a kindness rarely given. so rarely, and so unexpected here.
if xingchen feels something hot touch his hand, wei wuxian says nothing about it. sometimes he cries, and that's fine, too. he doesn't need to call attention to it, or to why, or anything of the sort. just say, at least, following that silence of consideration: )
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( Saying he does or doesn't agree, it's not that easy. Just as the decision to act was easier than seeking the permission, the convincing, the arguments for what they felt was better, inevitable, for the best. )
... He was. I ensured he drank one of what you just had, too. As for the rest... thank you.
( For making the offer. For... something he hears very little of, in his life, when it comes to the breakdown and failings of the relationships he holds so dear. )
Did you want me to stay for a while?
no subject
But we can't take it back, even if we wanted to.
[Time only moves forward and once decisions like this are made, they can only go along with that flow and face whatever is thrown back at them. But Xingchen nods in acknowledgment of everything, glad that Jiang Cheng is also on his way to recovery so Wei Wuxian is one step closer to clearing up the truth. He doesn't envy the man for that situation, but if it's necessary...
Gently, Xingchen raises his hand from Wei Wuxian's shoulder, finding his cheek. Maybe this is foolish, maybe he's still trusting people when he shouldn't, even after all the hurt he's been through because of it. His voice is soft when he speaks, genuine.]
You're my shizhi.
[He pulls his hand away, finally freeing Wei Wuxian from his physical presence, though he falls silent at the offer for company. Really, he wants to be alone, to sort out his roiling emotions after all these revelations. And he's tired, even this much activity - though he only got out of bed to meet Wei Wuxian like this - has left him feeling more fatigued than he has in years. It would be nice if the treatment fought off this poison by the end of the night, but he knows, realistically, it will probably take longer. He needs to rest so that when he does regain his strength, he'll be able to function almost as if things were back to normal.
And yet. He has someone right here who really seems to care about his wellbeing, someone whom he's just claimed as family, at his knees. He needs to rest, yes, but doesn't he also need to not seclude himself so much because of his emotional turmoil? Everything is a contradiction. He wants everything and nothing. But in the end, he makes up his mind.]
Do you...have a few moments to spare?
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this, however, still strikes; still draws blood. he breathes in, sharp, and it's the only response he has. enough perhaps for xiao xingchen, who is as much an orphan with found martial family as he had been, adopted in by a clan that had been slaughtered by those who believed power meant to hold sway over all. cruelty for the sake of reigning high.
but it is worse, in ways, to have a hand at his cheek. because that too is a kindness rarely given. so rarely, and so unexpected here.
if xingchen feels something hot touch his hand, wei wuxian says nothing about it. sometimes he cries, and that's fine, too. he doesn't need to call attention to it, or to why, or anything of the sort. just say, at least, following that silence of consideration: )
Of course, shishu. However many you'd like.
( conversely, however few. )