Daozhang, you wouldn't disappoint me! How could that be?
I know that hearing stories about someone and meeting them in person is very different, and I know to expect you to be... a person, not a legend? And that while the things you have done are true, some actions are not all that there is to a person.
You would not disappoint me, daozhang. I-- [ I don't think you've ever disappointed any decent person.
But saying that would open up questions that Sizhui isn't sure how to answer without bringing up other things that will be incredibly upsetting. This may not be the time. ]
-- promise you that. I just... know that getting to know the person behind the stories is a good thing, that I still have much to learn, and that in this strange place I have been lucky and have three of the people who raised me, but not everyone has that many people, and not being alone is better.
[Well. That wasn't the right thing to say. Now Xingchen is going to sit here and be embarrassed to death. But he listens to every word and accepts the younger man's passionate defense without interruption. It's refreshing, in a way, if he tries not to think about how all of this is directed at him. Sizhui feels strongly about this and doesn't seem to have any intention of backing down. In fact, Xingchen almost feels like he should apologize for offending him, as ridiculous as that would be!
He wonders how much of the world Sizhui has seen. He speaks with a rooted sort of wisdom, but also with so much hope and optimism. Xingchen can't help but think of himself when he was younger, when he was still on the mountain or when he had just descended into the cultivation world for the first time. He smiles, hopeful for this young man's bright future, but sad for his own rocky path.]
The people who raised you must be very proud. Lan-gongzi is a kind and sincere young man.
[He's not quite sure how to take that last comment, though, about being alone. Yes, Xingchen had been terribly lonely for the first few months here, but now he has his friend and that's already improved his mood so much.]
I'm glad you have loved ones here for you. I'm sure it makes all of this strangeness more bearable.
[Recalling he heard Sizhui pour some of the tea earlier, he carefully reaches out to search for the cup meant for him, but then freezes for a moment.]
Hanguang-jun? Might I presume he is one of the people who raised you?
[Xingchen, of course, has never met the man, except for a brief conversation over the quartz here, but he back home he didn't know too much about him, either. His name would come up often when stories were recounted about the Sunshot Campaign. People spoke highly of him, but then the Lan Sect is probably one of the more righteous sects, in Xingchen's opinion, so that's not too surprising.
He doesn't remember ever hearing word of Lan Wangji marrying, but that doesn't mean anything. And even if he didn't, would that stop someone so seemingly good from adopting a child? All the same, Xingchen ducks his head for a moment.]
I think I can understand the pressure you must feel. And yet, if Hanguang-jun is anything like the stories, then I imagine he wouldn't be disappointed by a genuine effort.
[Once again, he searches for that teacup!]
Of course, new friends can be made. I think it's necessary in our situation.
[ Sizhui gently places the teacup in the path of daozhang's hand, and keeps it steady so it doesn't get overturned, then removes his fingers when daozhang's wrap around it properly. ]
Yes. When... when everyone was gone, he found me and took me back to the Cloud Recesses.
[ Then there is a soft, adoring smile reflected in his voice. ]
As with everyone that people tell stories about, he is not exactly the same, of course. But he is strong, gentle, merciful, decisive. Normally, he is very kind, even if his quietness makes it a little hard to see, but when he is angry or determined, it would be difficult to stand against him.
[ ... which, admittedly, is not that difficult from Xiao Xingchen daozhang. And, perhaps, from Song Zichen daozhang, either. ]
[His fingers bump into Sizhui's and at first he wonders if he's somehow overreached and gotten the younger man's cup, but it's simply too close to him. So he takes it bows his head in thanks before taking a sip. It's good tea, or at least better than what he's had around here or even back in Yi City for a long time.
He continues to sip comfortably as he listens to Sizhui speak. So he is adopted, and if Xingchen is not searching too far into the wording, then it seems Sizhui was not from the Lan Sect at all, originally. Perhaps still in Gusu. Mostly likely still in Gusu, just for geographical simplicity. It doesn't matter, but it is a point of interest. He's still an extremely kind person.
The description of Lan Wangji from someone who actually knows him is not the most descriptive of who he is as a person, but Xingchen can form a clearer picture, all the same. It still matches what he's heard before, but now with a more fond tint, a more human touch. And yet, something in Xingchen's gut twists. Not from any sickness - physical, that is - but rather...
This description sounds so much like Song Lan. Over the past few years parting from Song Lan hasn't gotten easier, exactly, but Xingchen can make it through the day. Xingchen still thinks of him, and often, but these days it's more of a melancholic fondness, if also lonely. He wishes he could be in Song Lan's presence again, but he understands why that will never happen. It won't happen. They've both moved on. Apart.
He takes another sip; hopefully he hasn't sat there too long without responding. Hopefully nothing has shown on his face.
It probably has. He's never been good at protecting his emotions.]
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no subject
I know that hearing stories about someone and meeting them in person is very different, and I know to expect you to be... a person, not a legend? And that while the things you have done are true, some actions are not all that there is to a person.
You would not disappoint me, daozhang. I-- [ I don't think you've ever disappointed any decent person.
But saying that would open up questions that Sizhui isn't sure how to answer without bringing up other things that will be incredibly upsetting. This may not be the time. ]
-- promise you that. I just... know that getting to know the person behind the stories is a good thing, that I still have much to learn, and that in this strange place I have been lucky and have three of the people who raised me, but not everyone has that many people, and not being alone is better.
no subject
He wonders how much of the world Sizhui has seen. He speaks with a rooted sort of wisdom, but also with so much hope and optimism. Xingchen can't help but think of himself when he was younger, when he was still on the mountain or when he had just descended into the cultivation world for the first time. He smiles, hopeful for this young man's bright future, but sad for his own rocky path.]
The people who raised you must be very proud. Lan-gongzi is a kind and sincere young man.
[He's not quite sure how to take that last comment, though, about being alone. Yes, Xingchen had been terribly lonely for the first few months here, but now he has his friend and that's already improved his mood so much.]
I'm glad you have loved ones here for you. I'm sure it makes all of this strangeness more bearable.
no subject
Sizhui immediately waves his free hand, no matter that it can't be seen. ]
Ah, I wouldn't dare, I try my best but I can only hope to do my best and not disappoint them. Hanguang-jun is not a name I can measure up to...
But also, daozhang, new friends can still be made, no?
no subject
Hanguang-jun? Might I presume he is one of the people who raised you?
[Xingchen, of course, has never met the man, except for a brief conversation over the quartz here, but he back home he didn't know too much about him, either. His name would come up often when stories were recounted about the Sunshot Campaign. People spoke highly of him, but then the Lan Sect is probably one of the more righteous sects, in Xingchen's opinion, so that's not too surprising.
He doesn't remember ever hearing word of Lan Wangji marrying, but that doesn't mean anything. And even if he didn't, would that stop someone so seemingly good from adopting a child? All the same, Xingchen ducks his head for a moment.]
I think I can understand the pressure you must feel. And yet, if Hanguang-jun is anything like the stories, then I imagine he wouldn't be disappointed by a genuine effort.
[Once again, he searches for that teacup!]
Of course, new friends can be made. I think it's necessary in our situation.
no subject
Yes. When... when everyone was gone, he found me and took me back to the Cloud Recesses.
[ Then there is a soft, adoring smile reflected in his voice. ]
As with everyone that people tell stories about, he is not exactly the same, of course. But he is strong, gentle, merciful, decisive. Normally, he is very kind, even if his quietness makes it a little hard to see, but when he is angry or determined, it would be difficult to stand against him.
[ ... which, admittedly, is not that difficult from Xiao Xingchen daozhang. And, perhaps, from Song Zichen daozhang, either. ]
no subject
He continues to sip comfortably as he listens to Sizhui speak. So he is adopted, and if Xingchen is not searching too far into the wording, then it seems Sizhui was not from the Lan Sect at all, originally. Perhaps still in Gusu. Mostly likely still in Gusu, just for geographical simplicity. It doesn't matter, but it is a point of interest. He's still an extremely kind person.
The description of Lan Wangji from someone who actually knows him is not the most descriptive of who he is as a person, but Xingchen can form a clearer picture, all the same. It still matches what he's heard before, but now with a more fond tint, a more human touch. And yet, something in Xingchen's gut twists. Not from any sickness - physical, that is - but rather...
This description sounds so much like Song Lan. Over the past few years parting from Song Lan hasn't gotten easier, exactly, but Xingchen can make it through the day. Xingchen still thinks of him, and often, but these days it's more of a melancholic fondness, if also lonely. He wishes he could be in Song Lan's presence again, but he understands why that will never happen. It won't happen. They've both moved on. Apart.
He takes another sip; hopefully he hasn't sat there too long without responding. Hopefully nothing has shown on his face.
It probably has. He's never been good at protecting his emotions.]
He sounds wonderful.